I’m having one of those weeks where my to-do list is growing at a rate that I can’t keep up, and right now I’m feeling completely under-accomplished and the voices of doubt keep telling me that I’ve bitten off way more than I can chew. I am juggling so many things at the moment, and fear that I’ll drop them all any second.
I called hubby on the way home from school drop off this morning, because our night’s are usually such a whirlwind that we barely have time to have a real conversation. He gets up hours before I do, so he is usually asleep five minutes after getting into bed. But he was busy and instead of getting the reassurance I would normally get from our morning catch-up calls, I added three other things to me to-do list.
Note to self: check second revision of landscape plan, prepare for Mr 5’s swimming lesson, and letter a birthday card.
I am exhausted (Mr Z woke up a few times last night so I was up too) and am frustrated by how quickly the days go by, and how little I seem to get done in the hours that I am actually awake. Coffee does wonders, but days like this I really wish I had Hermione’s time-turner. How does one balance a freelance career, a creative business, write the first 10,000 words of a novel, and build a house with the everyday activities of running a household and being a mum?
I HAVE NO IDEA.
It’s time to regroup
Today I am staying home so I can regroup and refocus… and also to remind myself that all the things I’ve chosen to take on are in fact that: choices. At the end of the day, the most important thing that I should be conscious of is spending quality time with and being 100% present with my littlest person (who’s teething at the moment 😭) and making sure my family know that they’re loved. Sometimes it’s frustrating, trying to get things done when my baby refuses to nap when he’s meant to, or decides waking up 5 times in the night before mum is meant to get 1500 words written and submit 4 pitches, but ah well… such is life.
Life will happen as it happens. The work I do is good and important, and I will not give up on my goals, but I also need to make sure that I don’t won’t let myself be overwhelmed. I need to focus and lift all these things up to God, and just trust.
I won’t let myself drown in fear. I trust in God’s perfect plan, in his timing, and that if He wants things done, he’ll give me the time and energy to do it.
Hope you’re having a good (and not overwhelming) week so far!